Tuesday

1:45 PM, and I've been pretty busy. I went to women's Bible class and and to curves and I got some chicken out to thaw for dinner tonight. Something that I learned at Bible class that stood out was that I don't have to always be strong because God will be strong for me. That's something I want to remember because it does help and comfort me.

Miles went to work again today thank God and he seems better. he told me that he has blocked Kayla from calling him because it stresses him out too much. I don't blame him but I hope she doesn't start calling me and I hope that he will still be able to talk to Dylan.

Sunday April 28

Yesterday we went to talk to a priest and arranged for a private memorial for Terry for next Saturday.

Boy has today ever been BORING! and now its the time B. usually calls and I'm trying not to get depressed. I should try to forget him anyway. Its been 2 years and he hasn't sent for me. Well, he did call and we had a nice talk, mostly political, but still nice. Then Sally called and we had a nice talk. She mentioned me coming home with her in late June in her motor home. That will be fun, and hopefully I'll get to see b. s

BABY BOOMERS RULE http://babyboomersforever.blogspot.com/

Saturday

Got a great picture of Dylan today from Kayla. Also took one of Spike. I think I'll Zend it to b.

Were going to see the priest today. Hope miles will change his mind about going.

Friday

Its another beautiful day today. Miles is at work again(!) And val and I may be going to spend the weekend at their place to plan Terry's memorial service.

Last night, Bill messaged me that he would be going to Miami in July. I wrote back that I hoped we wouldnt miss the opportunity to get together when I'm in Illinois because I'll be there in late June early July. And he wrote back and said he hoped we wouldn't miss that opportunity too and he would send me the dates he would be in Miam. I really hope we can see each other but maybe for the best whatever happens.

Its 10 p.m. and I'm at miles & mikes place. We have an appointment to meet with a priest tomorrow to plan some sort of a memorial for terry but miles said he doesn't want to go. I hope he changes his mind, I think he will regret it someday.

Miles has been sneaking drinks all night.

Thursday

Today was a beautiful day. I had a nice talk with ykw (you-know-who) and I started back at Curves again. Also talked to my Al-anon sponsor and she thinks I'm making good progress with my recovery. I'm learning to let go and let God. Instead of obsessing over Miles, I'm trying to let him make his own life choices. But I pray for him every day.

Wednesday

9 a.m., another beautiful day, supposed to be in the 70s again today. I weighed myself and I'm down to 194.2. That's good news. And I finally heard from miles, he said he made it to work today. But he also said he might have to go to court today, I don't know why but that can't be good. Also I don't know what kind of welcome back he got from work. He was in trouble last week for missing work now another two days this week. Hopefully he still has a job. I told him that whatever happened do not stress about it too much because he's a good man and stronger than he thinks. And that he would get through it.

9:06 p.m. it was a pretty good day. I went to Al Anon. Shared with them I think I'm getting a little better. Told them that miles didn't go to work Monday and Tuesday and although it bothered me I didn't freak out about it like I used to. But I did go to church go to Bible class instead of staying and worrying.

When I got home, I bought a bottle of wine. The first i've bought in 2 months. I feel a bit like a hypocrite but hopefully I can just do it once a month...

So, try try again. Tomorrows another day.  Before I sign off foe the night, here's a picture of Aja, my 11-year old granddaughter and future supermodel.

Tuesday

Finished my morning devotions. Now I'm waiting to go to Bible class we have it every Tuesday morning for women. Miles stayed home from work again today I'm really worried that it's starting all over again. I'm praying for him. I may call my al-anon sponsor for some support later.

Bible class was good. We're studying a book called Beautiful Battlefields, written by a woman named Bo Stern. She is a Christian woman whose husband has ALS and she teaches how to live through battles we go through in life. Its helping me go through problems with Miles.

Valerie called Mike a little while ago and he said he doesn't think miles is drinking but he is acting dizzy. I don't know what to think he could be just covering up for his brother. But miles isn't answering his phone or texts and that's how he acts when he's drinking so I don't know what to think now.

Its 8:30 p.m. and I still haven't heard from Miles. I've been studying Step 1, "we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable." Step 1 teaches that we didn't cause it, we can't control it, and we can't cure it. We have to learn to let go and let them make their choices and take the consequences. But I feel so guilty and feel constant dread about what might be happening.

I got my Bible reading and study but didn't get much else done. I'll try again tomorrow. I've got to get into the habit of exercising in the morning; otherwise I want get it done.

Park where i walked today.

I worked off about 150 calories.

Tree cutting progress

Good night

Well, my plan was to relax and not worry. And that's what I did. Watched TV and read. I did have a nice day, Judy called and we had a nice talk. And my "boyfriend" called and we has a  nice time.  I'm hoping to see him this summer. Its been two years. He even told me he loved me a few nights ago. Of course, I haven't forgotten that he sees other people.

Monday Monday

They're cutting down a tree in my front yard. I couldn't resist taking a picture. Looks like its going to be a beautiful day. I'm going to try my best to make the most of it.

9:16 a.m. watching Joyce Meyer. Her message is letting go of anger and unforgiveness. It just hurts us, not the people we're mad at.

Talked to mike about 10 a.m. he said everything's going okay but miles didn't go to work today because he felt dizzy. I've got to stop letting things like that cripple me with depression panic and anxiety. The past two hours I haven't really done anything but sit and watch TV. And now I'm going to get some work done I'm not going to let my emotions rule me. I need to work on first step of Ala-non.

I had a nice phone call from him today. (Im not saying his name, just in case someone does a search of his name finds me talking about him. The Internet makes you paranoid)

I just got back from a walk, it did make me feel a little better. I'll try to put a picture here from the park I was walking in. Well, I posted it with another post. Haven't figured out how to insert a picture in the middle of a blog.

And I did a little reading from my al-anon book about learning to detach from the disease of alcoholism.

10:25 p.m. I just finished reading a chapter of Beautiful Battlefields by Bo Stern. She said to try to journal some happy things every day to help through the bad times. It was a good day in spite of worrying about Miles. I know God has a plan for him and will help him when the time is right.

Well, time for bed. No matter what happens, I'll be ready for it.

Dennis Miller on Boston Marathon bombing

Dennis Miller Radio: Videos - Video: Miller in the No-Spin Zone

Another Day, Another Chance

Spring outside my front window.

Why do i have to have a title?

I'm watching the movie "Hitchcock." Its pretty good but strange - just like Hitchcock.

I weighed 198.7 this morning. Sigh...

Im back!

Its been a long time since I've posted here and my life has changed a LOT! First of all, i came back to God after 20 years of ignoring him and I'm very happy about that and maybe bexause of that, ive changed my political beliefs from Liberal Democrat to conservative. My best friend Carol passed away Christmas Eve and I really miss her. Both of my sons had problems with alcohol both of them landing in ICU the last couple of months to detox I'm still very worried about them so my anxiety problems have ramped up. I recently joined Al-anon to help me deal with this and I'm trying to take it one day at a time as they advise.

Below is a pic i took of miles yesterday when he fell asleep while visiting me on his lunch hour.